It was not easy to let go. It took months. It required a lot of tears. It took a lot of forgiveness. It took a lot compassion. It took a lot of strength. Perhaps this is the reason we develop such strong attachments to others, to teach us these lessons among others. In the end, we are not given a choice. Holding on becomes more painful then letting go.
I knew it was necessary and I was attempting to let go for so very long. It was not much of choice. She stopped communicating with me. She had done this periodically, four separate occasions I believe. She would eventually come back to communication with me. You know, the push pull / runner chaser dynamic, but this time it was different. It was more intense. I could feel her anger and I know she could feel mine. I had, had enough and so did she. We both made this clear to one another via social media and our YouTube channels. In a weird and somewhat childish way this is how much of our communication occurred. Subtly, distantly and safely. We could say what we wanted without me projecting my pain on to her and her running away and breaking communication.
In truth, I a part of me was still clinging to hope. Until recently, I suspect she has a new Dan now or at least an interested new Dan. Actually, I know. At first, this upset me. After breathing through the anger I came to accept it, whether it is real or not. I don’t hold any judgment, anger, bitterness or jealousy towards her or him. I hope he is all the things I could never be for her. I hope he makes her happy.
So what does it feel like letting go of your Twin Flame. It feels like a choice. A choice between you or them. A choice between feeling love for oneself or continuing the pain of separation. It feels really good. It feels like freedom. It is the first real sense of peace I have had since I first saw her eight months ago. In many ways it makes me not want to go back. The thing about detachment is you truly do not care about the outcome and this is so liberating.
The weird paradox is I keep seeing signs. I see her name and initials everywhere. I see the 11,1:11, 11:11 and other numbers I have associated with her over time such as 47, 717, 616, 161, 121 etc. I even designated certain numbers to notify me when she is thinking of me, 67 and 76. It’s a fun trick you can do with numerology, she thinks about me everyday.
That’s not the concerning part, for the last few months or so I have been getting frequent signs regarding the country she resides in. We are separated by thousands of miles. Furthermore, I have received a job offer in that country. An offer providing permanent employment, residence and a work Visa.
I don’t presume this means we will be together. I don’t know why I’m being guided there. I don’t know what will happen between know and then. I don’t know what this means for me, for her, or for new Dan. Only my fate is my decision and I am following my guidance. As I always have and I always will. It is all anyone can do or expect from another.
I don’t know what my future will be, but I do know this. The Truth is always changing, the Universe favors the bold.
Dan McGinley RN BSN
Holistic Health and Consciousness Coaching