Harmony and balance are essential pre-requisites for true love to flourish and survive in any intimate relationship. However this is not simply a matter of balancing male and female gender roles. In fact it is quite the opposite. We do not get to experience life-long fairy tale romance with our counterpart unless we find balance and harmony within.

It is therefore, essential to acknowledge that despite your gender, you carry both masculine and feminine energy. Many struggle with this notion but is it so difficult to believe? Ask yourself why you behave the way you do? Particularly when it comes to engaging with the opposite sex. How about the more, rather drastic changes in gender roles of the 21st century.

Consider the behaviors of children, if you ask most six year olds “What is the difference between boys and girls?”. Most will tell you boys have penises and girls have vaginas. They couldn’t be more accurate. In truth, at our core it is the only difference. The rest is based on beliefs. Indoctrination from a Society focused on division rather than union.

If you prescribe to the notion of reincarnation than ask yourself have you always been male or female in every lifetime? I certainly have not and as a result I have accumulated distorted masculine and feminine polarities and distortions. If you are not convinced of reincarnation than simply ask how can something  exist outside of self and not within?

Ultimately what you believe matters not. Your belief does not negate the fact that if you seek a truly balanced, truly harmonious and truly loving relationship than you must embrace your masculine and feminine energies. More importantly, you must release the distorted masculine and feminine with yourself and trust that as you do your Divine Partner is doing the same. Paradoxically it is often our partners who mirror these distortions best to us. Regardless of the mirror, it takes an awareness to recognize and willingness to change in order to accomplish balance. This is why divine love is so powerful and chaotic. This is one reason why you suffer. The reason you desire and yearn for your divine counterpart above all else. Your love for him or her must be strong enough to force you inward. To heal, to grow, to balance, to harmonize and to eventually come into union. In truth, it is not union with your partner you seek but union within self.

In order to release any distorted energy it must first be recognized. Again, this energy exists in both men and women. Ladies first, the Distorted Feminine is the energy within that feels she must give everything to her partner. She runs after love. She supports him before she supports herself. She must be submissive and put his needs first. She is completely devoted to him before herself. She is needy. She is clingy. She seeks validation. She needs to be told she is loved. She needs to be touched and shown affection. She does all these things because she believes she needs to. She does not realize she can support herself. She can love herself. She can touch and be affectionate to herself. She can validate herself. She does not need her masculine to bring her happiness and love. Society has taught her she needs a man to be of value and this is her role as a woman.  Worse yet, she has not yet learned that happiness and love must come from within.

The distorted masculine is in many ways the polar opposite. He is emotionally distant. He runs away from his emotions/ true love. He feels entitled to her love and her body. He tries to suppress his emotions. He believes she exists to serve him. He takes her for granted. He denies her. He uses pleasures of the flesh and substances to suppress his emotions. He supports himself first always. He must be dominant. He expects her love yet rarely gives love in return. He does all this because he fears heartbreak. He views vulnerability as weakness. He does not trust the Feminine. He has felt heartbreak before and his inability to acknowledge his emotions causes him to deny his love. He does this because he has been taught not to feel. He was told that only women feel emotions and boys don’t cry. He was told he was so different from his feminine and if he were to express his emotions, he would cease to be a man. He was told he was entitled to her love, her devotion and her body.

I have observed myself play out my distorted masculine and feminine energies in all my past relationships. I have also observed the polar distortion reflected back to me in my female partners. This is why in the Twin Flame community there chasers who become runners  and vise versa. This why we have false and catalyst Twins. It is a collective and cosmic balancing act fueled with unconditional love for other who is self. Everything is balance. The Universe will always seek to find harmony, Yin and Yang. It is simply natural law. Therefore, if you seek union with your divine partner you must first seek union within yourself. If you are not in union with your partner then you are  not in union within. Remember, you are one. As you balance and harmonize so do they.


Dan McGinley RN BSN

Holistic Health and Consciousness Coaching


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