I often write about true love, my Soulmate or Twin Flame journey. She recently reached out to me for the first time in a great while. She has expressed a genuine appreciation for me and interest in establishing a solid friendship.
If you aren’t familiar with my previous writings it is important to note that this relationship dynamic is nothing like the modern model or paradigm of relationships or courtship. It is much more beautiful and expansive in so many ways I have yet to fully disclose. It has also come with many unique and challenging dynamics as well. The way and the fact we discovered each other and are beginning to establish a relationship are in and of themselves miraculous. It is simply so much more than another “we met on tinder story”.
We had a face time session for over two hours yesterday and despite the frequent issues with connectivity, conversing with her felt flawless. There is no awkwardness or bullshit. No trying to fill the empty spaces with garble. No worrying about what was to be said next. Just clear, honest and abundant communication. The types of conversation you rarely have with another you barely know.
I have been desiring this for several months. Desiring for her to truly open up to me. To invest in a relationship with me. It is fascinating to me that when we finally begin to get what we want. When things become real. We often, paradoxically need to step back and ask ourselves if we are certain we want what we have been asking for.
When it comes to her, I have no doubt she is what I want. I have never doubted my love or desire for her. It is the way in which I have her that I must question. During our most recent exchange she expressed some hesitations regarding a relationship beyond friendship at this time. One being we would need to meet in person. I agree, unfortunately we live on other sides of the planet making this a challenge but not an impossibility. Another was her concern that I was simply infatuated.
I can understand her concern but found this slightly offensive. First and foremost I have never been the infatuated or desperate type. More importantly, there is simply no comparison. Infatuation demands the other conform to your expectations of them. True love has no expectations. True love forces you to transform yourself from the inside out. True love requires you to dive to the depths of your Soul and emerge something different entirely. For true love we will face any fear and overcome any challenge.
She asked me if I was being guided to any particular location. I told her I was and hesitantly told her I was being guided to go wherever she was. If she lived in BFE I would follow her there.
This is now the dilemma I find myself facing. I have and would be willing to do so much to be with her but would she do the same for me? I would never ask her to sacrifice anything or change but I can’t help but wonder if she would be willing to for me. This is the bitter sweet realization. In the end she must choose me. I must be her only choice and not her last option. I must be willing to walk away from my true love if that love is not reflected back.
All this time I thought I was teaching her what unconditional love was about. Ironically she is teaching me as well. I am grateful for the positive progressions. Despite them, all I have is what I have always had. Trust in our soul connection and faith that union is our destiny.