Many of us have been in love and when recollecting we tend to focus on the pain of separation rather than the joy of connection and acceptance. It’s a relatively well known fact that the Human Brain is flooded with feel good neurotransmitters when an individual is in Love. The problem is most people believe that this can only be obtained externally. That we require someone to shower us with love in order to experience it. This is the sad lie Humanity suffers from.
They say the heart chakra opens at night. I am inclined to agree. Lately I have been dealing with insomnia and find myself in a state of reflection and gratitude. Prior to writing this blog I was lying in bed, my five year old boy. He was asleep with his head on my chest. I was thinking about all the people in my life and the love and appreciation I have for them. I was thinking how I accept them for who they are entirely. I was so grateful to God for every second of my existence. The good and bad. The painful moments and this current bliss. I was completely in the moment. Gripped by a heightened sense of things.
I reflected on my not so distant past that feels like an eternity. I recalled the chronic state of unhappiness and worry. The lack of hope and confidence in the future. The constant desire to control all facets of life. The requirement of substances to feel good in any way. I realized that presently, even on my worst days that my mental state is exponentially greater. I can’t say that I am always blissful and without occasional fear or discomfort. However, I can say that it is a minor fraction to the past intensity and frequency. In the past, things like insomnia (which I suffered from occasionally) or mental fatigue would result in significant stress. I would do all I could to self-medicate and control the situation. Get back on a schedule and maintain the routine, the status quo at all costs. Do everything possible to maintain the illusion of control, prevent unplanned change or chaos.
Now, I welcome it. I make the best of each situation. I smile and get up. I gaze at the stars and appreciate their beauty. The vastness of the Universe reminds me of how small my “issues” are.
Surrender is Freedom. Freedom is Happiness. Happiness is Vulnerability. Vulnerability is Bliss. Bliss is Self-Love.
Love and Empathy,
I am Dan McGinley