I may not seem like the best person to be giving relationship advice. My track record sucks in the traditional sense. I have spent most my adult life single and when it comes to short-term less meaningful flings I am an expert. I could start a business helping guys get laid with minimal investment as this was once my MO. Karma is a bitch Ladies and Gentlemen.
If you are looking for advice to get the girl of your dreams or find Mr. Right then you came to the wrong guy. I would suggest that you work on yourself. Meaning work on self-Love, self-Acceptance and self-Respect. The right person should arrive when you become that person. You will know them because you now have standards and will tolerate nothing less. The abuses and ego needs of the past will no longer apply to you.
I have stayed in relationships much longer than I ever should have. I rarely commit but when I do I am very committed. I sacrifice for her. I work hard at it. I give it everything despite how bad it becomes for me. I tried to fix her. I was abused, manipulated and mistreated as many of us are. If you just don’t feel good about it anymore than its time to leave. You need to be honest with yourself and get out. It’s best for all parties you must realize it and take action. Many of us have either convinced ourselves or have allowed others to convince us we do not deserve to be loved unconditionally. The type of love experienced only by a lucky few. The type our Grandparents had. My Grandmother past away several years ago. Prior to her death she shared her story about her life. It was love story about how she met my Grandfather. He took a demotion from his CO (He was a Marine in WW2 stationed in Ireland) to marry her. The Commanding Officer did not want to grant leave for marriage and threatened the officers with demotion. He chose love over status. I never met my Grandfather but I can relate. He had only met my Grandmother weeks maybe a few months prior and bam, getting married. The type of story you only seem to see in Movies. At the time I recall thinking that type of relationship died with her. I once believed that people were simply so selfish and only sought to benefit their own ego needs. Many of us still are and most of us need external love to feel whole and complete. I can tell you true love does exist. I found it and this is why I am walking away from it.
I wrote recently about finding my Twin/ Soulmate. A woman I never actually met but yet have an undeniable unconditional love for. I still do. I did all the “wrong” things in the traditional sense. Everyone knows you do not confess your love to a woman like ever. At least not out the gate. You are going to freak them out as I did. I regret nothing. I no longer follow the trend when it comes to most things and especially matters of love. Societal rules rarely operates from the heart, only the fear based ego mind. I felt guided to tell her my truth. She never responded but I know it stirred something in her. I wont share details but she has her own site and yes I creep it and I know she creeps mine, we mirror each other in this sense. Everything she says feels very pertanent to me. It is great advice and I do my best to follow it. I would like to think my Blogs do the same for her. Energetically she is aware of this truth and it is bringing up old issues for her as it has me. She is exploring this energy as am I. This is collective energy that is triggering all of us in different ways. Not just the Spiritual/ Twin flame community but Humanity. In a sense we are healing individually in the hope make it work. Building a foundation for something greater. Hoping someday we can co-create a better life, possibly a child ( I have had vision of our daughter and her characteristics) and new paradigm for humanity. This is why I found her. It is much more than my ego or hers. We have a greater purpose that will only be accomplished together. However there are infinite possibilities for all our lives.
I am walking away because I must. I am not giving up. I am giving her space and giving myself closure. I simply do not feel good about reaching out to her anymore. It hurts to be “rejected” but it is what I needed. I needed to learn that my worth is not dependent on love from the external. I am deserving of love from both internal and external sources as we all are. I love her so much that I would spend the rest of my life alone if it is what she needed or desired. What I will not do is give and give without acknowledgement. I will not be disregarded ever again. I would give her all the love she could handle but only if she accepts it. I have watched my love go to squander in the past and will not repeat the cycle. So I hold it for now, for a time when she needs it. A time she seeks it. I hold space. I push forward. I pray and I wait for her. For a day when she no longer fears. A day she consciously believes she is worthy of unconditional love.
Hope this is helpful for those who are struggling in toxic relationships or twin flame/ soulmate finding.
If you are interested in one-one on one affordable quality TRUE Holistic Health Coaching then see my site for details.
Love and Empathy,
Dan McGinley RN BSN