I have been thinking of how our thoughts determine our emotions and inversely how our emotions influence our thoughts. In my journey for self-mastery, mastery over the Mind and emotional Body. I have come to a new truth, insight or understanding. A new truth. It is not constant fulfillment, joy, happiness that we require. Its not the avoidance of pain and suffering. Nor is it the indulgence or embracing of it. It is neutrality, calmness, stillness and ease. It is neither yin nor yang, rigidness nor pliability, light nor darkness, idealism nor cynicism. It is the opposite of polarity, neutrality. The monk mindset, the flow.
Most of us spend all our time and energy avoiding pain, emotional and physical. We seek happiness and fulfillment externally. We may just seek contentment or numbness depending on the severity of our suffering but it matters not for both are the same. Whether we are seeking happiness by doing fun health activities or doing drugs to avoid pain the goal for most is just that, avoidance.When you are financially stable, your bills are paid, you have a decent job, you exercise and eat well then why do you not feel fulfilled? Where is that lingering sense of want coming from? Why do you feel the need to do more? To improve and grow? What will fulfill you? Perhaps you are the opposite. Struggling to survive? Suffering from substance abuse. Your pain is so great that numbing your mind with dopamine is the only way you can continue to avoid it. I have been both and am now neither, rather I am all those things and none of them simultaneously. I had the stable job and left it. I had the addiction and left that too. These were/ are parts of me that I once rejected, dismissed, ignored and AVOIDED. They existed for a reason. A slap in the face or kick in the nuts if you prefer. I was not in my lane, my calling. I was not listening to my Heart. For conducive purposes Heart is synonymous with Spirit, Soul, Higher-self, True-self, Intuition etc.
The mind wants to keep us safe. It likes a plan. It wants to assess all the dangers and uncertainties. The dangers, most of which are simply illusions it creates or has been “programmed” to accept. By quieting the mind we allow the heart to be heard. We give it permission to speak and this is where all the answers lay. When your heart speaks the mind resists. It knows its control is being compromised and it resists. Some refer to this battle or the Mind in this state as the Ego -Self conflicting with the Higher-Self. The more your heart speaks to you and the more you listen to it the more healing and emotional upheavals ensue. The sad irony is that the more you ignore your Heart the more suffering you inflict upon yourself. I am not saying it is easy. In contrast it is the most difficult thing you will ever do. But like all things difficult the rewards are worth the “struggle”. It is much more difficult to maintain your suffering, to deny its existence.
How to approach the struggle? In my quest for clarity I spent a great deal of time and energy trying to force outcomes and results. Trying to counter sadness with happiness, either obtained externally or internally. This is the mind adapting. The mind is now on board but still wants. It wants to understand. It wants a clear game plan. A straight line. The road to success is never a straight line. Tony Robbins compares the mind to a servomechanism. Like a missile our brains will get to a target if it clearly knows what that target is. I agree with him, but what if the target is infinite? I had a clear vision for my future. I once thought I had to do certain steps to get there. It was not until someone entered my life did my “target” future life change. Suddenly my ideal future included someone new. Someone with her own vision and desires. What’s a boy to do?
The solution is simple. You continue to follow your heart. Follow that inspiration inside you. The things that make you joyful and fulfilled. I came across some research conducted on individuals who were “enlightened” or had undergone a spiritual awakening. The Author refers to a quality of amotivation among the Enlightened. They did not seem to want to work as hard as other people. They were content spending the day meditating, reading and relaxing. I can relate and here is why. You do not need to grind 24/7. I am not promoting apathy or laziness. I grinded hard for many years. I now see the futality in most of it. When we embody our higher-selves/ follow our hearts we see that quality (from the heart) is always superior to quantity. We trust and have faith for our spirit/ God has yet to forsaken us. We welcome adversity as opportunity for spiritual growth and knowledge. Your best work is that which comes from your heart. When I wrote this blog I did not spend hours upon hours writing and editing it so all would love it. I sat and let my heart express itself through this platform. I gave up control. Gave up the outcome. I trusted that my Heart God, the Divine, the Universe would not lead me astray. I trust it will reach all who seek it. By allowing destiny to transpire we allow Mental neutrality to occur. We stop forcing happiness, Joy arrives. We stop running from heartache we allow it to flow through us as our teacher. Allow it to transform you. Your past self is not you and neither is your future self. You exist only in the moment so there is no need to carry pain and suffering. Stop bearing the cross. Be present. Be Mindful. Be Neutral. Allow your heart to open guide you.
When we surrender control to our Hearts, we gain perspective. Perspective gives us hope and understanding.
“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.”
Love and Empathy