“Release the need to be upset with others….you are turning the controls of your emotional life to other to manipulate.” Wayne Dyer
What the hell is an affirmation and why are they so important?
Affirmations are making claims about yourself, your life and your abilities. The can be positive of negative. They can be a source of emotional support or debilitation. Today’s Blog focuses on Affirmations and their power to reinforce or change your current beliefs. Their ability to provide a new attitude and perspective on life. I realize positive affirmations sound slightly warm and fuzzy but do not make the mistake of underestimating their power.
One of the first things I did to change my life and a technique I incorporate in my Program is Affirmation Immersion. Why is it so imperative for people to immerse themselves in positivity? We are constantly being bombarded with negative affirmations. Most “mainstream” media, Television, News, Movies are all sources (see Fear and Love Blog where I discuss this in greater detail) Marketing is likely the most subtle and influential. Marketing such as commercials and advertisements are everywhere. They have mastered the art of subliminal messaging and understanding our sub-conscious minds. They are experts at subconsciously making people feel like they are not good enough. With images of supermodels drinking diet soda and dudes with six packs an D-straps. All with one objective. To make you feel inadequate. Unfortunately it has much dire consequences for some. Consider the fact that we have disorders such as Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia and “Manorexia”. The DSM 5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental illness 5th Ed.), the Bible of mental Health, has generalized the disorders allowing more freedom/ less rigid standards to diagnose eating and body image disorders. This was necessary due to the increasing need for looser diagnostic criterion. In other words these disorders are evolving and reaching more demographics. Age, gender and socioeconomic status are no longer safeguards. We can expect our elementary aged girls and boys to be body/ image conscious. These are very severe illnesses causing suffering and death. They were once isolated to the more superficial of Nations but globalization has expanded their reach. I have seen teenage girls suffering from Anorexia and Bulimia among adults, these disease and their sequella are devastating. Now consider that the catalyst for these disorders are Marketing Techniques. it is not just eating disorders. Many other deaths and forms of suffering can beat least partially attributed to negative affirmations. Now consider how much media you have been exposed to throughout your lifetime. Do you your honestly believe it has not influenced or corrupted your beliefs and viewpoints?
Other people are great sources of negativity too. Coworkers, friends and families projecting their issues on to you constantly luring you into trash talking others. Discouraging you from expressing your authentic self. This is less noticeable and only when you start to change do you realize how powerful and contagious the energies of others can be. The reasons for this vary. It’s not to say your Friends, Family and Coworkers are bad people deliberately trying to hurt you. They simply have their own issues and do what they know how in an attempt to feel better. Sometimes that means dumping negativity on you and everything in their path. Hence the term toxic people. They are mostly unaware as their behaviors are subconsciously guided.
When I first began positive affirmation immersion I would go to work feeling wonderful and two hours later I was pissed off, angry and complaining about everything. This was a major reason for me leaving despite the friends and great work I was able to do. It’s just that powerful. When I was first going through my Awakening I isolated myself and avoided people. This is commonly referred to as the “Hermit Stage”. You become increasingly sensitive to the energies of others people, places, and even objects. We need time to balance and cleanse. This is an example of needing “me time”. Isolation is ok from time to time, just don’t forget to come back into the world. You may have noticed you returned from a vacation feeling peaceful and calm, perhaps exhausted. This is a sign that something in your home and or work life is causing you way too much stress. Forgive me for the visual but you can’t just walk through a puddle of other people shit and expect to be clean on the other side.
So what to do? You can minimize the amount of exposure. I realize you may not be ready or able to get a divorce or quit your job. However you can set boundaries and stop allowing others to dump on you, belittle you or make you feel inadequate in anyway. Just ignore them. Cross you arms and legs if seated (this is a great non-verbal way to say I don’t want to hear it, it also closes off you heart/ emotional Chakra). Do not empathize with them especially if you know this is the same issue they keep complaining about yet refuse to change. At this point they know what to do but aren’t ready to face their fear. You can’t do it for them so they like to dump on you to feel better. This may sound harsh but you really aren’t helping by reassuring them their bad decision is a good one. You could also tell them the truth. That’s a sure way to keep them from coming to dump on you in the future. Second is much easier for some. Turn the TV off! The majority of Television is fear based propaganda. When you are stronger and less susceptible you can return to television and movies. Stay off Social Media unless it is to read positive blogs and to share them from Auxano-Aletheia or similar site. I will discuss addiction in later Blogs but keep in mind social media is a behavioral addiction. It causes the same biological mechanism as Heroine and other drugs just less intensely. Your self-worth is not dependent on how many likes your gym selfie gets. Eliminate the negative and replace with the positive.
The second method is much easier, more practical and inevitably will lead to incorporating more of the first method. Immerse in the positive. Visual, auditory and kinesthetic. Instead of watching TV every night, read a book about someone or something that inspires you. We live in a wonderful time! The age of information. Get some activity! This can be as simple as going for a walk (a recent study concluded walking for 30 minutes 3 times a week is as effective as SSRI/ medication for the treatment of Depression). Find a sport or exercise class that works for you and only you.
Side Fact: if you spend an hour a day studying a specific craft/ subject. In five years you will be a National Expert! or you could watch porn and reruns of breaking bad
The most effective way, at least initially for me was auditory immersion. I compiled a list of motivational speakers and websites that I would listen to daily for one to two hours. This is easy to do. You wake up (morning is best because your subconscious is more active and your mind is quiet), pop in your headphones or just play speeches, videos on youtube, compilations on motivation, whatever as long as its positive. Do this while you get ready for work, the drive to work, after work, while cleaning, making dinner, in the Grocery store, it doesn’t matter. Just do it daily and for as long as you need. Weeks, months, years. You will notice your self-limiting beliefs you have been programmed with will begin to dissipate. You will feel better. You will begin seeing the barriers in your life more clearly. I did this for months and occasionally still do. In that time I overcame my addictions, quite my job, launched a business, got back to the gym, eating right, begin a new martial art and had a Spiritual Awakening! It works. I did other things as well which I will share in the Blogs Series. This is an imperative first step as it cleanses the mind of negativity. Once the mind is cleaner than modalities such as meditation will be much more easy to implement and effective.
I have compiled a list of sites and speakers that I share with my clients. If you are interested in receiving this list than email me at email@example.com
Here’s Just one to start your day with! You will notice recurring Themes such as vision, effort, overcoming fear, finding your Why (intrinsic motivator) etc.
My Next Blog we will be Clearing up the myths about meditation and establishing the facts. As well as offering some helpful tips for beginners.
Thanks for reading! Please don’t forget to like and share!
With Love and Empathy,
Dan McGinley RN BSN