“I have long believed that there are fundamentally two forces or emotions that drive our decisions-love and fear” Vivek Murthy U.S. Surgeon General (2014-17)
Which influences your day to day decisions? Your big life decisions?
Anxiety is contagious. We live in a highly negative, fear mongering society. From day one our soul arrives on Earth and is instantly oppressed with the energies of others/ the world. As children we are programmed do be afraid of self-expression, being different, taking risks, speaking our truths. It becomes impossible to go through life and not be oppressed by fear by the time we are adults. Fear makes us yearn for safety even when we are living in a prison. The status quo is a comfortable cell we maintain with walls of fear.
Many of us are making our most of our daily decisions from a place of FEAR. Fear is often subtle and comes in many forms. We just don’t call it fear. We call it anxiety, shame, guilt, envy, hate, lust, Greed etc. Sometimes we call it compromise, sacrifice, commitment etc. It hides with many faces but it stems from a few beliefs most of us hold to some degree. I lack the quality. We all tell ourselves that we are not good enough, we aren’t smart enough, we aren’t attractive enough etc. I lack the security. I can’t because (insert reason). I wont be loved/ admired/ excepted if I (insert reason) I lack the desire. I don’t really want it anymore. Its not important. I’m too old etc. I realize that there are valid reasons but they do not change a thing. Many of us are settling for a job, relationship or circumstances because we do not feel we are worthy of our dreams. We are meant to feel guilty for wanting more for ourselves. Why? The truth is we can not give what do not have.
The difficulty is most of us do not know what we truly want. We believe we just want more money, things, friends and lovers. If we acquire those things our lives will be perfect. These things help temporarily but can not give you peace and fulfillment. We don’t know this because rarely ask. We don’t ask because as soon as we allow ourselves the pleasure of imagining our ideal life what happens? Sooner or later you allow your mind to talk you out of it or demean yourself. You cant do that? You are way too lazy, stupid, fat, ugly. If we do know what we want. We rarely act because we our minds tell us. HaHa you? no one will support you? that’s a stupid idea? Your Family will be so disappointed.
Our Brains our designed to keep us safe. To mitigate risk to survival needs.
That’s great in the Hunter Gatherer sense when death is looming around every corner. The problem is it rarely is for most of us. Our subconscious does not know the difference from a false image on TV that poses no threat and the real thing. This manifests in our day to day lives where sharing your ideas or talents with the world produces anxiety. What if I’m judged and people don’t like me. To make matters worse,the people who love you most often hold you back the most ( Second to yourself). They care about you and are afraid for you. Yes some people may judge you but who gives a shit! really? Just like your loved ones they are simply projecting their unconscious fears on you or its probably worse in your head than it is in theirs.
Ask yourself why do you keep going to that job you hate? Why are you in that relationship that you know is terrible for you? We all know the Girl or Guy who cant figure out “Why do I keep attracting all the D#@ks, or A-holes etc.?” We like to lie to them and say “oh its not your fault”. The hard truth, it is. You are making the same mistakes over and over again. You believe you are not worthy of love. You tolerate that person cheating on you because you don’t love yourself enough to not tolerate it. You disagree? would you want to see one of your family members/ loved ones with a person who cheated and demeaned them? No, yet you tolerate it for yourself? Why you feel this way is something you have to reach inside yourself, pull it to the surface and examine it. Its ugly but you must look and understand it. Otherwise it will keep rearing its ugly head in your life.
The Good News is there are Methods for minimizing Fears grip on your Mind!
There are solutions to minimize fear and increase self-awareness. Meditation, Affirmations, Mantras and Gratitude to name a few. This is the first of Blog series. I will be discussing the science, benefits and practical tips to incorporate activities that minimize fear and crush self-limiting beliefs into your daily lives. Follow me on Social Media or check me out at auxano-aletheia.com. Thanks for Reading. I am Dan McGinley RN BSN
F.E.A.R =False Evidence Appearing Real – Les Brown